Teens need organizational skills to navigate high school.
During high school, teens have to meet others’ expectations: teachers, the school, the college application process, their families, and friends.
They get overwhelmed as their focus is spread over a long list of to-dos and expectations. Fitting in with peers pulls. Add technological distraction and the state of the world and it’s even more overwhelming.
You can’t tell them to skip school. You love them and want them to feel confident and protected.
Trying to find the right answer leaves you frustrated.
Use a simpler approach. Help them improve one part of their organizational skills by letting someone else come into their current situation. It might be disorganized. You probably aren’t communicating. Small changes have big results.
Click here and Make a small change now.
Look at it from your child’s perspective.
Yeah right. You might be navigating respect and unexpected comments so why would you want to view the world from a teen’s point of view?
Your child needs help right now to navigate their daily life, at school, with friends, at home, etc. Despite their possibly looking like they don’t get it, don’t care, or downright disrespectful they actually want your help. They’re caught between wanting to be told what to do and wanting to do it themselves. Their brains are developing and haven’t matured yet.
Your love and guidance provide their foundation. They need help to plan better and use their time wisely. Telling them what to do, reminding them, and becoming frustrated when they forget “again” doesn’t work for them (and probably not for you.) So then how are you supposed to help?
Here’s one teen’s perspective.
“I finally understand why my mom’s been nagging me, since middle school, to write things down. There’s too much stuff going on! I can’t keep it all in my brain! I’m tired of always playing catch-up. It’s useless to try.”
The important words are “I finally understand.” No one adjusts their behavior unless they’re going to lose something or they see a benefit for themselves. That’s just good human nature.
How can you help them identify the benefit of getting more organized, and getting more out of high school (and life?)
- You can develop great boundaries and detachment skills and plow through yourself.
- They’ll flounder around and finally ask their teachers for help.
- They have a friend group or siblings they listen to.
- You have a teen who’s amazingly organized and has no problem in this area.
- You can get support from a free community program.
- You can hire a coach. Click here to start with my intro session.
Teens in high school feel pressure to get “it” right.
They’re taught to get the right answer instead of being empowered to figure out a solution.
Figuring out the whats and hows is messy for teens and their parents.
“I hate raising my hand in class because I feel clueless about talking to adults.”
“There’s too much homework. I don’t know how or when I’m going to study. Then, my family wants me to do something on the weekend!”
Adults, struggling to figure out how to get “going to school” right, are trying to push their teens to be successful.
You know your teen’s look when they’re listening but not comprehending. There’s a lot at stake for them. At this time, their confidence is falling away under their feet.
Learning how to adapt is a huge advantage for your teen.
Coaching can help your teen learn how to adapt.
Our work is action-oriented.
Young people are creative and resilient, especially if they have a seat at the table as part of the decision-making process. We don’t talk about the definition of organization. I help them identify what’s not working for them, and what adjustments they can and will make to change that. Maybe they need a different planning tool. Do they know what the 80/20 rule is? Are they aware of how their breath impacts doing homework? There are a lot of ways to adjust.
Adolescence passes by quickly. Don’t waste it arguing about what you can’t control.
Imagine envisioning your teen happily on their own at college or in a new job. What you notice most is how they have their plan and quiet confidence as they navigate those inevitable bumps in the road.
It’s natural for my clients to become more engaged in high school, feel confident, and think about their post-graduation plans increasingly based on their own “what and how.”
Parents transition through high school and when their teens go to college or leave home to live on their own. You can give yourself some love and support, too. Click here and let’s get started.
